My last request…


When I took this photo of Joshua I didn’t know that Joshua would die in a little over a month. We lived alone together for almost 19 years and though I knew we wouldn’t always be together a part of me thought we would have at least a few more years together. It’s been a little over 6 months since he died and people tell me that “it’ll get easier” but the thing is, I don’t want it to “get easier.” “Get easier” just means I’ve moved further away from the last time I held him. “Get easier” just means getting used to him not being with me. Why would I want anything to “get easier.” My only request that I wish to be fulfilled after I die is that I be buried with a photo of Joshua and I and I want the photo to be sealed in plastic and be placed in my shirt or jacket pocket. I know it sounds morbid to be writing about that request but we’re all going to die and we all know it so what’s morbid about writing about a little post mortem request?

My art website is


2 thoughts on “My last request…

    • I’m sorry. No one can really say anything to make us feel better and that’s okay. Words aren’t always necessary or even desired. I miss Joshua so much and he was such a comfort to me and now that he’s gone… I made a binder with every photo of him that I ever took. I also made the little book, Life With Joshua. I wrote it in the 3 weeks after he died as a way to remember every little detail of our years together. You should write a letter to your dog. Not to mail, obviously, but as a way to process all of your feeling. I wrote a letter to Joshua and included it in the book. It was extremely therapeutic to write and I wrote it in the same way I’d write a letter to a person. I have photos of the book here somewhere and on my website: Thanks for commenting. Chris

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